EPISODE 16

TRANSCRIPT

 

Hey guys, welcome to A Lifelong Habit of Exercise. I'm Coach Kendra, and this is episode 16. Today I want to talk to you guys about decision making. What is decision making? How do we know that we make good decisions? How do we know when we are making bad decisions? What's a right decision? What's a wrong decision, I want to really kind of dig into all of it, because I think decisions are one of the things that truly either excel us in life, or really hold us back. And I think when we feel like we're stuck a lot, it's because we can't make a decision. And a lot of times when we're not making a decision, it's because we think that there's a right decision and a wrong decision. So I really want to dig into the decision making today and how to have your own back on a decision and what is a right decision, and what is a wrong decision? And do those even exist? 

 

When it comes to decisions? A lot of times, like I said, we think that there's a right decision and a wrong decision. And a lot of times we get caught up on decision making is when we don't make a decision, because we think that we're going to make the wrong decision. And I find this a lot as coaches, I find this a lot with parents, I find this a lot with people that have any type of responsibility with someone else. If they feel like they have responsibility with another human being's life, well being, their development, anything of the sorts, I think a lot of people struggle making some decisions, because like I said, I think there is a thought that there is a right decision or a wrong decision or a decision that is better than another. But what if there wasn't? What if all decisions were equal? I want you to really just kind of think about that for a minute. And I know that is so hard for us to even wrap our minds around right away. And it's hard for us to wrap our minds around because we think that, well, there's consequences, and if I don't make the right decision, there's going to be consequences, because the wrong decision will have major consequences. Right? It depends on how my life will play out. It depends on how somebody else's life will play out there are major effects and major things that result in making decisions, right? And that's why we do and we kind of drive ourselves crazy when it comes to decision making sometimes. But what if we just were able to make a decision based off of if we liked our reasons for it. If we decided and we looked at what our reasons for making the decision? And if we really liked our reasons for making a decision, and then we made the decision, and then we just stuck to the decision. Because we liked our reasons for it. What if we approached every decision that way? There's no right or wrong decisions. There are no right or wrong decisions, there are going to be decisions that you like your reasons for, absolutely. And if you like your reasons for him, then those are decisions that you can make, go ahead and decide them, and then honor your decision, because you liked your reasons for it. 

 

What happens a lot is I think we make decisions, or we know we lean a certain way on a decision. We're like, "Well, I mean, I would do this." And then what happens is we don't have other people's support. We don't have other people's support in that decision. Maybe we actually make the decision, and then somebody else comes back and fights us on the decision. And then we start second guessing not decision. We start second guessing and we start saying, "oh my gosh, maybe that's not the decision that I meant to make? Or maybe that's not the right decision." But what if there was no right decision? What if even if somebody else fought you on the decision afterwards, or even in the decision making process, but you like two reasons for it, you were still able to make that decision. You can do that. And just because they have their reasons for the decision is okay. They're allowed to have their reasons for the decision. And you can hear them out, but understand that their reasons don't weigh more than your reasons. I think that's the other thing is a lot of times we give ourselves less credit, we give ourselves less value in decision making, but we look to everyone else. And we look to everyone else. And we're like their decision. their opinion, means more than what my opinion means, right? And we look to everyone else to try to get a sense, a consensus amongst everybody on what the best decision would be. We need to make the right decision. We don't want to mess this up. We have one shot to make this decision. And a lot of times that's how we make many decisions. 

 

I think we've even gotten to the point where we have social media so close to our hands we have it such in just an instant form like we have it on our phones, we have it on whatever we have other people are so close to us that in an instant, we can get other people's feedback. In an instant, we can get other people's opinions. That we want everybody else to kind of tell us what what it is that we need to do. And that's small decisions, large decisions, that's any type of decisions. And like I said, I feel like even more so on small decisions now, because we have close proximity to everybody or anybody in the world, we want everybody else's opinions, and we want somebody else to make decisions for us. And then we value their reasons for their decision, the way that they would make that decision, we value their reason for more than we value our own. 

 

What if we could just say there are no right or wrong decisions, you could like one decision and somebody else could like the complete opposite decision, and both of you could be completely right. The easy part is actually making the decision, we've made it the hard part, we have made making the decision, the hard part, but making a decision is just making a decision and being okay with the reasons that you have. That's how you make a decision, you make a decision, you like the reasons that you have, and if you like the reasons behind making that decision, do it. And then the hard part would be the honoring it, honoring that decision that you make. But we make both of it the hard part, we make the whole process very hard, and none of it has to be hard. You can just like I said, decide that you decided correctly, make a decision, like your reasons for it, and then decide that you decided correctly. That is all the decision making takes. Make a decision, like your reasons for it, and decide that you decided correctly. When we want there to be a right decision. That's when we get caught up in it, we get caught up in it because like I said earlier, we don't want the consequences of what could possibly happen afterward. What's crazy is that when we make a decision, it's almost like a guess anyway, when we make a decision, we don't know exactly how everything's gonna play out, we may have an idea, but that's why if you like your reasons for it, you can stick to that you made a decision based off of the reasons, the reasons that you have towards it. And when you like those reasons, especially if you love those reasons, but you don't have to love them, you just have to like reasons for it, you like your reasons for it, go full force with it, and go all in, like your reasons for it and then honor it. 

 

And then what we don't have to do is you don't have to stick with a decision every day, a lot of our decisions in life are decisions that we get to make daily. We don't seem like we make them daily, but a lot of things, we subconsciously just continue to do it. And so it's basically becomes a decision that we continue to make daily, it may not be at the forefront of your mind, it may not be there where you're like, "Okay, I'm deciding to drink water today." But every chance you drink water, you're making that decision to drink water, right? This is actually a really good example, because a lot of times we stand at the fridge and we stare at the fridge and we go, what should I eat? or What should I drink and we stare there for 20 minutes. And maybe part of that is that we don't really want anything. So that goes back to do you like your reason for whatever it is that you're doing? Do you like your reason for whatever it is out of the fridge that you're wanting to get? But just make a decision? I want this because like maybe you want water? Because you're thirsty?

 

Do you like that reason for it? Now, do you want juice or a beer or alcohol or something just because you're bored? That's a different reason. Do you like that reason for it? If you'd like your reason for it, get it there's no purpose of us standing at the fridge for 20 minutes and just staring at it, because most of the time, that's probably because we're bored, right? So if you like your reason for it, do it. If you don't like your reason for it, don't do it. But then when you do it, honor it and you like to reason for it. That's okay. Even if somebody comes along and didn't like your reason for it, even if someone comes along and would have decided differently, making a decision and then deciding that you decided correctly. Deciding that you made the right decision. That's how you make a right decision, liking your reasons for it, making a decision and then deciding you decided correctly honoring that decision. 

 

Like I said, as coaches as parents as anybody that has other people as our responsibility, or where we feel like they're our responsibility. That is when decision making and not only then but that is where a lot of times decision making seems like there has to be a right -there has to be a right decision. Right. But in reality, what if there just wasn't? What if you could make any decision you wanted to make? What if you got to decide and if you liked your reasons for that, that's fine when it comes to exercise, a lot of times we make a decision that we're gonna start exercising, or even a healthy lifestyle, we're gonna change, start making a healthy lifestyle, start exercising, we're gonna do that starting on Monday, the New Year's coming were towards the end of the year, right now we're in November, the end of November. So a lot of people are going to start thinking about like New Year's resolutions, right? And we make a decision to start exercising, we make a decision to start a healthier lifestyle, we make a decision to start walking more frequently, we make a decision to cut sugars to cut wheat and flour and different things like that we make those decisions, and then once the decision is made, we start going back, and we start backtracking. And we start fighting that decision. And we start thinking maybe there was a different decision that we should have made, maybe there was a better decision that we could have made. Well, maybe I could tweak it in this way and make this decision this way. When all along, you did like your reason for beginning. And maybe sometimes you didn't maybe sometimes people make decisions to start exercising for somebody else, and maybe you don't really like that reason. So when it comes to exercise, I want you to think about what it is what is your reasoning for exercising? If you were to start exercising, why would you do it? Why would you make that decision? Because that's a decision. Or if you're currently exercising, why are you currently exercising? What is your reasoning for it? Why do you continue to do it every single day? I want you guys to really start thinking about that with everything that we do, we make decisions. 

 

And like I said earlier, it could be a decision that is made consciously, or it could be a decision that we're continuing from before. What is our reason for our decision? For A Lifelong Habit of Exercise, Like I said, let's talk about the so called right decisions when it comes to wanting to exercise. So if we go by what I've talked about a right decision, again, is one that you like your reasons for. If you like your reasons for exercising, is it to become more healthy? Is it so that you can get your body moving? Is it for you to get fresh air? Is it for you to have more me time? Or are you exercising because the doctor told you you need to? It's health reasons you absolutely have to start exercising in order to be healthy. What are your reasons for exercise? What are the decisions that you're making? And a lot of times with exercise, the support in the decisions that we make doesn't come in the form of people saying why would you exercise, you may have people in your life that say that, but a lot of times people aren't going to say something directly like that. A lot of times what it is, is they're gonna present stuff because they are able to do whatever they want. Maybe they're not exercising, maybe they're watching an extra movie on Netflix or something and you want to watch that movie with them. Those are the forms of they are choosing and they are having a different decision than what you are. And what we do is a lot of times than we want, "well, maybe their decision looks a little bit better than mine. I think maybe they chose the right thing." And all of this may be happening not in the forefront of our minds. But that's really what's happening is we think that those decisions may be better. They may have had the right decision. But in reality, we liked our decision. But in the moment, we're like, well, but "I could stay and watch a movie with them. They're eating a whole cake. I said I wasn't going to eat cake, or I was only going to have a couple bites. But they're eating the whole cake and not look so good. I think they have a better decision than I did. I think they made the right decision." And we give in to that instead of honoring our decision. A lot of times with like healthy lifestyles and exercise, those are the forms of which they present themselves when it's like a decision that is not in line, if that makes sense. When we make a decision, and then somebody else doesn't support it, it's normally in that fashion. And it's not that they don't support it. As we talked about the other week in one of the episodes a few weeks ago. It's not that they don't support it. It's just for them. That's what they've chosen. And for them, that's what they've decided everybody's exercise journey. Everybody's healthy lifestyle journey is not the same and that doesn't mean they support us any less. A lot of times we make it to mean that but that just means that that's what they've chosen for them right now. That's what they've decided for them right now. And that is Nothing to do with us. A lot of times we make it mean that and we think that because they don't want to go walk with us because somebody else doesn't want to go exercise with us because somebody doesn't want to go to the gym with us, whatever it may be, we make that mean that they don't care about us because we've decided to do that. But when you decide it, remember you like your reasons for it a good decision, the right decision is one that you like your reasons for and then you decide the two decided correctly. When you like your reasons for something you decide the two decided correctly, and that is how to make a good right decision. That's it, like your reasons for it, and then follow through honor your decision. 

 

I know a lot of people have asked me about this. And a lot of people, like I said, with coaching, it's one of those things because you have parents, you have athletes. So you make decisions all the time we make decisions all the time. Parents, as parents, by yourself, you make decisions all the time, I know that, and sometimes we make decisions that our kids don't like. And that's okay, if we like our reason for it. All we need to do is honor that decision. 

 

All right, you guys for the next week, I really want you guys to really pay attention of the decisions you're making. Try not to get caught up in those decisions, because remember, just like your reasons, figure out what your reasons for making the decision are if you like those reasons, make the decision. If you don't like the reasons, don't make that decision. For the next week, do that and see how that helps. See how your life changes when you were able to make a decision just based off of not being a right or wrong decision. But just based off of if you like your reasons. Do you like your reasons? And then the fun part, you get to honor that decision. If you need to write down those reasons for the decision, do it. And if you need to come back to that when you need to honor it and continue to look at that and you want to say "Do I still like those reasons?" Absolutely. Do it. I really challenge you to do that for the next week. Until next time. 

 

Did you know that I'm doing a five day FREE workshop? The Workout Mentality Workshop. Women, if you're ready to never stop exercising again, head over to the Facebook group Women Who Want to Workout.

©2020 by Coach Kendra Aaron. Proudly created with Wix.com