CHAPTER 3. Vulnerability
When the pandemic originally began, I, like most had a short moment of fear of the uncertainty. I remember wondering the most about what would a true lock down look like. My daughter is now between her dad and my house 50/50, so I feared what a lock down would mean in that situation. As time began to go on and days turned to weeks, like everyone, there began to be some normalcy in my life. I returned fairly quickly to doing my “Monday Hour 1” in which I planned for my entire week including my down time first thing Monday morning. I have actually really become better at honoring my own time during this pandemic. I feel like I can trust myself more because I have had over a month of being consistent and doing exactly what I say I am going to do, even when I don’t feel like it and Netflix seems like a better option. When I look back over the last 2 months, I amaze myself in who I have become. I am impressed with the amount of vulnerability I have been willing to experience. It wasn’t long ago that I would hesitate to even post something on Facebook for fear of what others may say, think, do, or worst of all not say. I held myself back for so long by telling myself stories of what each one of my Facebook “friends” would do if I posted something that didn’t make sense, seemed “outside of my lane”, or that just seemed salesy/pushy.
I would type something up and then delete it. Numerous times it would take me an hour or longer to end up posting a total of 10 words to social media. I was stuck spinning in shame. Through coaching from myself and my life coach, I got unstuck and out of my own head. Just like that, I had agreed to do a zoom 4-day mini series (WHICH WAS AMAZING). I had a very dedicated group show up every single day wanting more of what I had to offer. When I finally put myself aside, I was able to be the coach that I am meant to be. One thing I know for certain is – IT IS NOT ABOUT ME. When we think things are about us that’s when we get stuck and sometimes can’t even function, like I did when it came to social media. When I realized it’s not about me all of a sudden the possibility of what can be done through me skyrocketed. I just did an encore of my mini series on relationships this time through Facebook live. And although the video was choppy and cut out I am beyond proud of myself and the growth I have made throughout this pandemic. Oh, and did I mention I have an absolutely amazing website now?! 🙂 I love what I do. Being able to create my life on my terms and living each day intentionally is one of the best things I have ever experienced. When you are ready to experience it, I’ll be right here ready for you. 🙂